A friend called me in the middle of a work day. The tone of urgency unmistakable. “You do this ‘retail thing’, don’t you?” she asked in hushed tones.
I hesitatingly admitted that I did do some ‘retail thing’
“Can you tell me where I can get some negative energy absorbing crystals?”
Somehow doing the ‘retail thing’ meant I knew where I could get – what was that again?
I took the bait and before I knew it I was swimming in lions that could protect me, frogs that could bring me wealth and fish that could help me find my soul mate!
The friend was looking for a certain crystal called the ‘sriyantra’ which, as mentioned before had the power to absorb negative energy.
Not one to mock what I couldn’t understand and feeling greatly protective of this friend who thought a three centimeter crystal could protect her from office politics, I offered to go along in the quest for the crystal. Also, by now I was intrigued. Not just by what was being sold and to whom, but how it was being sold. A bit of phone calling proved that people were quite aware of this lion, frog, fish and crystal thing and a kiosk selling these was easily found in one of the popular malls
The kiosk sold all the before mentioned animals in different sizes. In addition to these it also sold soothing music, mini-water fountains, metallic coins and wind chimes. And loads of crystals. Crystals in all shapes, sizes and forms. Hanging from fish strings, lying in baskets, embedded in various thingammies.
While the focus of this entire school of thought was based on bringing in positive energy, each object was given its own little duty to perform. So the frogs and coins would bring in wealth, the lion-like dogs would protect the inhabitants from negative energies, the dragons would pretty much do the same, the healing beads would take care of your health and the bonsai would take care of your career.
That’s not all. By putting a certain crystal near a certain corner of my desk at work, I could get rid of all the negative energy that was surrounding me. To bring in positive energy, I could get myself a more powerful crystal, shaped somewhat like a pyramid, with wavy edges.
And if I wanted a package deal, getting rid of the negative energy, bringing in the positive energy and throw in a bit of wealth attraction, then I could buy a super power pyramid with smooth edges, within which was another pyramid with wavy edges. Of course protection and energies have a price and the super power crystal came with a super price tag.
Once these crystals are bought and used, sometimes they suffer an overload of bad energy and they have to be re-energized. My friend had bought along her crystal and asked if it had to be re-energized. The attendant held the object in one hand and waved the other hand around, much like royalty waving to fans as their limos roll past the poor slobs standing in the rains. But before he could speak, I had a psychic intervention and instantly told my friend that the crystal would need re-energizing.
I offered to do it at half the price but my friend sush-ed me and told me not to behave so irreverently. In an attempt to convince her I tried to do some arm waving of my own and inadvertently knocked down some wind chimes. Another glare came my way so I quietly turned to another hopeful waiting in line and struck up a conversation.
This one wanted to know directions. Not to another store. Directions in which the figurines were to be placed. Having spent five thousand dirhams for a one hour consultation on how these figurines would help various aspects of her life, buying them for an additional fifteen hundred dirhams, now she just needed to know the correct direction to place them in. I suggested out of sight of the husband, but nobody found that funny. Out of sheer peer pressure, I finally bought a wind chime.
I love wind chimes. Love the tinkling sounds it makes, sometimes hinting at forgotten melodies. These days the melodies sound too much like cash registers ringing off on human insecurities.
